....as to what gets my blood pumping, well: writing, art, and life, and a bit of reading thrown in there too for good measure, i used to be a complete bookworm but have since come out of the closet and into the light...anyways it seems almost silly for me to separate these subjects as they seem so well engrained together for me at this point. writing is art is life is life is art is writing is is and so on. i like to get caught up in some metaphysical bullshit once in a while. i used to seriously contemplate whether or not i was a buddhist and decided that i could never be any sort of religion but that there must be some sort of essential unity within the life process and i find both a lot of fields of science and a lot of forms of advanced spirituality concur with me on this one. i dont mean this in any new-age freakish sense of the word but merely that life is a tapestry and we are all held together by intertwining threads. or something like that. strangely enough its this quest for a more pure form of being that finally lead me into being somewhat of an activist. i always considered myself a free thinker and a bit arrogantly presupposed that this alleviated any sense of social responsibility. i knew war was wrong the government was evil and all that and my mind operated as such that i could free myself from these evil impositions any time that i wanted.turns out i was wrong.
the political struggle is the most real of all and it is the hardest fought. there are 1.3 million dead iraqi civilians b/c of our government's recurring habit of conquest and genocide, yet the best of us still sleep at night. what the fuck is going on? the only alternative, i am realizing more and more, is a type of beautiful creative desperation. we are born to a special type of slavery the moment we are slapped with a birth certificate and condemned to be citizens in this home of the slave. everyday human communication is reduced to utter and total mind control. it is in the midst of this context that i find myself growing and melding more and more as an artist and a flat-out anti-authoritarian. i sometimes get content as an artist but as an activist and general human being i always feel the need to do more, and i think this is the proper way to be, always growing, where evolution could take us if we focused on positivity, alas, we don't at the moment and the voices of the dispossessed are growing frustrated and gasping from being so close to strangulation...good pure free art then, as the closest we can get to purity is the best form of resistance i have and what i choose to spend that last gasp on.